


Give It Thyme

by IBoatedHere



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gardening, M/M, Past Jack/Kent Mentioned, Plans For The Future, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 04:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8130674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: They have an herb garden.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to marquislaf for the Beta and Msculper for the title. And for talking me through stressful updates.

They have an herb garden. 

A window box that hangs off the balcony that Jack installed after Bittle came back from the grocery store weighed down with butter and flour and complaining that he couldn’t find any basil.

“I went to three stores,” he said as he handed Jack the flour to dump into the container on the counter. “Nothing. I was going to make spaghetti for dinner tonight.”

“I think I have some jarred sauce.”

Bitty turned to look at him, cupped his face with both his hands and said, “Oh honey.”

He went back to Madison a few days later, leaving Jack with a long slow kiss and several bruises marked into his skin to remember him by. 

“I wish I could take you with me,” Bittle breathed softly into the inch of space separating their lips in Jack’s truck outside the airport. 

“I wish I could go,” Jack breathed back.

But he had to stay. The Falconers made it to the finals but fell short and Jack had to work on that. They both knew it, how important it is that the Falcs win. They both know the timetable of them officially starting the rest of their lives depends on it. 

Jack watched Bitty disappear through the sliding doors then started the car and drove off. 

He bought the window box and then paint. Yellow. Bright and sunny and warm. There was a moment where he thought about asking Lardo to decorate it but he wanted this to be his and Bittle’s thing, and theirs alone. 

So he did it himself. Little flowers and a peach tree. The Falconers logo right next to a slice of pie and a hockey stick. He got carried away and sat back an hour later with paint smudged on his fingers and the worn denim of jeans and laughed at himself because if this wasn’t fucking obvious he didn’t know what was. 

It almost gets painted over before he decided to leave it as an act of rebellion. He can’t even have a window box in his own apartment painted in the way he wants it to be painted? He’s 25 years old. That wasn’t working for him. 

He bought basil, thyme, cilantro, parsley, and lavender from a nursery just outside the city. 

The woman working there was older and kind, called him honey and made him smile because the pet name reminded Jack of Bitty. 

She didn’t know who Jack was and it never dawns on Jack that some people don’t follow hockey at all until he meets someone that has zero recognition of his face or his name. 

It’s nice.

As she rung him out he thought about telling her.

_These are for my boyfriend. It’s a surprise. Do you think he’ll like them? _And then he’d show her the picture he took of the window box that he has on his phone.__

__Instead he thanked her and promised to come back if he had any questions, if he needed anything else._ _

__He planned on coming back. He could buy mint and dill and oregano. He could google what herbs are commonly used in baking. He’d need another window box. Maybe he’d let Bitty paint that one. He’d probably pick a bright blue (“Like your eyes.”) or Samwell red._ _

__The boxes would sit side by side, overflowing with life._ _

__Jack took great care in planting and watering them._ _

__He checked on them every morning._ _

__Ran his fingertips over the spikes of the lavender until the oils transferred over and the fragrance lingered with him all day._ _

__Talked to Shitty holding the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he plucked basil leaves off the plant, trying to stop it from taking over._ _

__He was fully involved in the conversation. He listened to him about how fucking hard finals were and what a douchebag his father was being and how he couldn’t believe he was looking forward to spending time with his mother. Jack made the sympathetic noises and Shitty sighed and said dramatically, “Anyways, what’s up with you?”_ _

__“What do you do when you have extra basil? Like, way too much basil.”_ _

__Shitty was silent for a moment when broke it with, “What the fuck are you talking about?”_ _

__“Basil. It’s taking over. It’s blocking out the lavender.”_ _

__“Dude, do you have an herb garden? That’s so fucking domestic, I love it.”_ _

__“It’s a problem.”_ _

__“You gotta Google it or something. I think you can dry it.”_ _

__“Yeah, alright.”_ _

__“Hey, Jack. Is your basil crisis your biggest problem right now?”_ _

__“Yeah, pretty much.”_ _

__Shitty’s voice was warm and fond when he said, “That’s fucking awesome.”_ _

__Jack sat down on the edge of the table and agreed._ _

__Bitty laughed when he saw the herbs and Jack thought he made a mistake until Bittle turned around and said, “You are the sweetest boy I have ever met.”_ _

__He let Jack pull him in, slowly because they had time, and pressed a kiss to the side of his face._ _

__Bitty made basil ice cream and mixed the lavender into shortbread cookies._ _

__Tonight he sprinkles the cilantro over tacos and crushes the mint into mojitos that Shitty takes from him with both hands along with a, “You didn’t have to go through all this trouble, Bits, you could’ve just give me the bottle of rum with a straw. Hold the straw if you have to.”_ _

__“I know, hun,” Bitty says, fond and worried._ _

__Shitty showed up with Lardo in tow and when Bitty asked him how he’d been, he paused, took a deep breath, and gasped because Lardo had elbowed him sharply in the side._ _

__“Oh my god, if I have to listen to you bitch about Harvard for one more second I’m kicking your ass and then my own for putting up with it for this long. The whole ride down that’s all I heard.”_ _

__Now Shitty is drunk and happy and eating pie with the plate resting on his stomach as he lies on Jack’s couch. He licks his finger and picks up the flakey crumbs on his plate just as Bitty arrives with another slice._ _

__“Bro, I gotta tell ya,” he says as Bitty settles down next to Jack. Bitty’s knee presses into the side of Jack’s thigh. “A sick apartment, a multimillion dollar contract doing what you love and unlimited pie from everyone’s favorite baker. You’re living the dream, man.”_ _

__Jack drops his hand to his own thigh. His pinky just barely brushes against the skin on Bitty’s knee but he knows he feels it. Out of the corner of his eye he watches him cover a small smile with his hand._ _

__He’s looking at Bitty when he says, “It feels like it.”_ _

__Bittle sleeps in the spare room that night._ _

__Jack is sneaking into it for a goodnight kiss when he hears Shitty’s voice from down the hallway, just above a drunk whisper but clear as anything._ _

__“I gotta figure out who this girl is.”_ _

__“Why do you think there’s a girl?” Lardo asks back._ _

__“There’s gotta be something. Look how happy he is.”_ _

__“Maybe he’s just happy.”_ _

__There’s a long beat of silence before Lardo huffs and says, “whatever,” under her breath._ _

__“There’s a reason for this. I just wish he would tell me. Why wouldn’t he tell me?”_ _

__“He doesn’t have to tell you everything.”_ _

__“He used to.”_ _

__Jack touches his fingers to the door and winces. _Not everything.__ _

__“Things change.”_ _

__“But our love is supposed to be eternal- ow, don’t kick me.”_ _

__“Well don’t say shit like that. You know Jack loves you. You need to chill.”_ _

__“You’ve been hanging out with Nursey way too much.”_ _

__“The kid makes some good points.”_ _

__Their conversation slows down then dies out altogether but Jack stays rooted in one spot, right between his room and the guest room with his fingertips barely touching the door until he’s sure they’re both asleep. He’s sure Bitty is asleep too. Nestled under the covers with Senor Bun tucked right in beside him in a bed he’s never slept in before. That he shouldn’t be sleeping in._ _

__Jack falls asleep in a bed that’s too big for one person._ _

__

__******_ _

__

__He wakes up earlier than normal. It’s hard sleeping alone when he knows there’s only a wall separating them._ _

__The door to the spare room is still shut and Shitty and Lardo as still dead asleep on the couch, heads on opposite ends with Lardo’s bare feet propped on top of his chest._ _

__He takes the short route on his morning run. The one he usually takes with Bitty when all they want to do is get back to the apartment and kiss each other against every surface in it. He might get back in time for everyone to still be asleep. That way he could sneak into the spare room and under sleep warm sheets and curl against Bittle until he woke up, wrinkled his nose, told him he needed to shower, but kissed him good morning anyways._ _

__He pushes himself and by the time he gets back to his place his legs and lungs are burning._ _

__It doesn’t end up doing him any good because when he opens the door Lardo is sitting on the counter swinging her legs and talking to Bitty who’s standing at the stove moving a spatula around a dozen cracked eggs in a pan and Shitty is concentrating on cutting up fruit into uniform sizes and sliding them off the cutting board into a bowl._ _

__“Whoa, Jacky, isn’t it the offseason? Give yourself a break.”_ _

__Bitty looks over his shoulder and cuts him with a look that’s half interest, half hunger, and all for him._ _

__Jack picks a grape out of the bowl, it's cut at a weird angle, and pops it in his mouth._ _

__“Never too early to start training.”_ _

__“It's the weekend.”_ _

__“Jack works harder than God,” Bitty tosses over his shoulder. “How are you cutting that fruit, Shitty?”_ _

__“Terribly.”_ _

__“I believe the cooks at my father's house would call it rustic.”_ _

__“And then they would call themselves fired when your dad found out they didn't do it how he wanted it.”_ _

__“Lard’s, don't bring him into this.”_ _

__They banter back and forth and Jack uses it to his advantage. They’re not paying attention to him when he leans around Bittle, his hand on Bitty’s hip to steady himself, and reaches for a glass in the cabinet in front of him._ _

__He lets his hand linger until the tips of Bittle’s ears turn red as he sprinkles parsley onto the eggs._ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__After breakfast Jack and Shitty offer to clean up while Bitty drags Lardo down the hall to show her the outfit he bought the other day._ _

__As soon as they’re down the hall the mood shifts. Shitty hands him a plate to rinse off then crosses both arms over his chest and Jack braces himself to be interrogated._ _

__“You and I need to have a little chat, Jack.”_ _

__“About what?”_ _

__“About bros keeping secrets from their best bros.”_ _

__“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”_ _

__Shitty makes a frustrated noise and Jack wonders if this is exactly how he’s going to be in a courtroom. He never sees Shitty changing all that much. “I’m talking about secret relationships and the girlfriend your new teammates all seem to know about in those Face-Off videos and how you seem so happy all the time and how you won’t tell me. I’m your best friend, Jack. Or at least I used to be.”_ _

__“You are.”_ _

__“I know people change and all that bullshit and there’s fifty miles separating us now but shit, man, I’m just not okay with being _this_ far apart from you.”_ _

__“Shitty, it’s not…” he trails off and tries to find the words. Any of your business is right there. He can hear himself saying it. But then he can also see Shitty’s face crumple at the words. “It’s not like that.”_ _

__“Look, I get that you want to keep things private, I totally do. You deserve that but now you’re straight up lying to me.”_ _

__“I’m not lying to you.”_ _

__“What’s wrong with her that you can’t tell me? Is she famous?”_ _

__“She’s not...she’s not….I don’t have a girlfriend.”_ _

__“But-.”_ _

__“Shits. Please.” There’s a hard edge to his voice. One he hasn’t used since Bitty’s freshman year while telling him take this more seriously or get off the team. It’s something he still feels terrible about. Something he’s apologized for dozens of times and is always met by a kiss on the cheek that somehow makes him feel even worse. Like he doesn’t deserve that much kindness. His voice is lower and more controlled when he says, “There is no girl.”_ _

__When he raises his eyes off the counter Shitty is looking at him intently. Bittle laughs down the hallway and Jack’s eyes immediately flick towards it. When he looks back Shitty is still watching him, eyes a little wide this time._ _

__“You know you can always tell me anything,” Shitty says in the same low pitched tone. “Anything.”_ _

__“I know that, I do. And I will just not….right now. I can’t. I need you to understand that.”_ _

__“Of course, man. I get it. It’s important to do things in your own time. I just want you to know I’m here for you no matter what.” He opens his arms wide and Jack steps right in. “Let me know one thing though, are you okay? Are you happy here?”_ _

__Jack presses his cheek against Shitty’s shoulder and hears Bittle laugh again._ _

__“Shits, I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier.”_ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__Lardo and Shitty leave with a pie in both their hands._ _

__Jack and Bitty carefully hug Lardo, careful not to jostle the pies but Shitty throws caution to the wind and ignores Bitty yelling at him to watch out, don’t you dare drop those, as he smacks a kiss to both their foreheads._ _

__“Beautiful,” he says, pie plates wobbling in his hands. “The both of you.”_ _

__“Okay, Shits. I’ll call you.”_ _

__Shitty nods and kisses him once more. “Looking forward to it.”_ _

__Jack closes the door behind them then waits a few seconds before he locks it and turns. Bittle is standing a few feet away, hands wringing together in front of him. They’re finally alone. 24 hours of being in the same space but not taking full advantage of it is weighing on both of them._ _

__They meet in the middle. Jack gives a breathless little _oof_ when Bittle collides into him _ _

__“Sorry I didn’t say goodnight to you last night.”_ _

__“Oh, don’t you worry about that.” His breath hitched when Jack kissed down his neck. “But if you really want to make it up to me you can go ahead and try.”_ _

__Jack backs them up towards the couch. Bitty grabs onto the arm of it just before Jack tips them over._ _

__“What do you think the odds are that Shitty was naked on this thing?”_ _

__Jack looks it over and then in one smooth motion hikes Bitty up by the back of his thighs so his legs wrap around his waist._ _

__They both laugh all the way down the hall._ _

__

__******_ _

__

__Jack invites him to his parents house just before classes start in the fall. It’ll be their last chance to spend any significant time together before Bitty heads back to Samwell and Jack starts seriously training for the new season._ _

__“Mama was a little upset,” he explains over Skype. “I think she thought I’d be staying down here until the last possible moment but I just told her to think about when I would get another chance to see Canada with my very own Canadian professional hockey playing tour guide and that did it.”_ _

__Jack always wanted to get a house up there, someday. Maybe even play for them so, realistically, he thinks Bitty will have a lot more opportunities to get up there._ _

__“She also made me promise to take a bunch of photo’s of Alicia and Bad Bob Zimmermann’s fancy house and send them to her so….that was probably also a deciding factor.”_ _

__“It’s not that fancy.”_ _

__Bittle gives him a bored look. “So says you.”_ _

__“You’ll see. It’s not that big of a deal.”_ _

__“I’ll believe it when I see it, Mr. Zimmermann. Oh, god. What am I going to make?”_ _

__“Make?”_ _

__“I have to make something for your parents, obviously. Do you think it’ll be okay if I use their kitchen? I’d make it here but I don’t think I can smuggle a whole pie through customs. I mean, a whole pie is not as easy to hide as a bag of cookies. What about that lemon thyme cake I made that one time? Do you think they’d like that? I can bring up some of our thyme to make it extra special. Can I bring herbs into Canada?”_ _

__“I’m sure my mom can buy you some to have when you get there.”_ _

__“Jack,” Bitty sounds horrified. “I cannot have her buy part of her own gift. I going to google this later. Can you imagine if I got caught with it when I’m not supposed to have it? Jeeze, imagine the headlines. _NHL Star Jack Zimmermann Caught Smuggling Illegal Herbs Across the Border with Former College Teammate.”__ _

__Jack laughs and wishes he was there to kiss the babbling words right off his lips._ _

__“I’m almost certain you can bring herbs with you.”_ _

__“I’m gonna double check anyways.”_ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__Jack gets a text in the morning with a link to an official Canadian government webpage stating that herbs, so long as they weigh less than 250 kilograms, are allowed. It’s followed by a string of exclamation points and several cake emojis and _it says we can bring an animal carcass too, CANADA IS WILD AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND.__ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__The plane is filled and even in first class heads turn to look at Jack as he takes his seat._ _

__Bittle sits beside him and offers Jack an earbud to help distract him from it as the plane takes off and hits cruising altitude._ _

__They don’t touch, even when the plane hits a pocket of turbulence somewhere over New Hampshire and Bitty grasps the arm rest with white knuckles._ _

__Jack wants to reach out and cover his hand with his own but he just curls his hands into fists on his thighs._ _

__People are still watching him._ _

__They don’t touch until they’re safe inside the rented SUV and Jack puts his hand on Bittle’s thigh, only removing it to point things out from out the window._ _

___“I used to have a friend that lived up there. There’s a pond up that street that always freezes before the others in the winter.”_ _ _

__By the time they’re pulling up the drive to his parents house he’s got his hand halfway up Bittle’s thigh._ _

__“What’s that?” Bitty nods out the window._ _

__“The rink.”_ _

__“You have a rink at your house?”_ _

__“Yes,” Jack says. “My dad needed somewhere to practice.”_ _

__“And you said your house wasn’t fancy.”_ _

__“It’s a basic rink. It’s nothing like where I’m at now. Or like Faber. I learned to skate there, though. We can try it out if you want.”_ _

__“I don’t have skates with me.”_ _

__“I’m sure my parents can work something out.” He winks at Bitty. “They’re rich.”_ _

__Bitty rolls his eyes but covers Jack’s hand with his own._ _

__

__******_ _

__

__When they get to the house Alicia is the first one they see but it’s Bob that reaches them first._ _

__He opens the passenger side door and hugs Bitty before he can even get both feet on the ground._ _

__“Oh, hello, hi,” Bitty says into Bob’s shoulder as he desperately tries to crane his head around to find Jack. Jack is pulling their bags out of the back seat when his mother gets to him. She hugs him and pats his cheek and Bob has just let Bitty go when Jack rounds the corner of the rental._ _

__“It’s so nice to have you here, Eric.”_ _

__“Oh, yeah,” Bittle says as he smoothes down the wrinkles in his shirt. He looks more nervous than he did the first time he met him, even with the whole Mr. Jack’s Dad fiasco. “Thank you so much for inviting me. I’m so happy to be here.” He winces at his own words and stares wide eyed over Alicia’s shoulder at Jack as she hugs him._ _

__Jack shrugs and feels warm all over when his mother loops an arm through his own and his dad puts an arm around Bittle’s shoulders and walks them up to the house._ _

__Jack drops the bags inside the door and Bittle asks if he could use the restroom. He makes up an excuse about needing to freshen up after spending an hour and a half in the recirculated air in the plane but Jack suspects he’s going to splash water on his fast to combat the deep flush that’s crawling up to his hairline._ _

__Bitty spins around in the foyer three times, unsure of which way to go, before Jack leads him to the left towards the half bath that’s off the kitchen._ _

__A jumble of syllables roll off his tongue when he sees the center island and marble countertops “Jack,” he finally says as his fingers close tight around Jack’s hand, “I gotta-.”_ _

__“I know, I know. It’ll be here when you get out.”_ _

__Bittle closes the bathroom door very slowly, eyes never leaving the stainless steel appliances until the door clicks shut._ _

__His parents have migrated into the living room but the bags are still by the door so Jack picks them up again._ _

__“Is the guest room made up?”_ _

__Bob and Alicia look at him like he has two heads._ _

__“What do you need that for?”_ _

__“To put Bittle’s things in,” he says slowly and his parents roll their eyes._ _

__“Why would you do that?” Bob asks and Alicia shakes her head then pats his hand as she walks by. “Your room is made up for the both of you.” He smiles gently at the look on Jack’s face then says “there’s nothing for you to hide from here. We want you to feel comfortable. This is your home. Or,” he winks, “at least one of them. There’s always time to get a summer home.”_ _

__

__******_ _

__

__They eat dinner on the desk beneath a dusky pink sky._ _

__It’s cool but comfortable but Bitty thinks it’s chilly and needs to pull on one of Jack’s old, chunky sweaters that slips off his shoulder and pools at his wrists. He scrunches it up and reaches for his glass of wine, looking far more relaxed than when he walked in because of it._ _

__Bittle turned 21 in May but he still looked hesitant to accept it when Bob popped the cork._ _

__“Remember, Eric, I went to Samwell. I know what it’s like,” Alicia told him as she filled his glass and then her own._ _

__“I’m not sure it could compare with the kinds of parties Shitty used to throw.”_ _

__“Ah, an Epikegster,” his father says as he lifts a steak off the serving platter and onto his plate. “I’ve been to one of those.”_ _

__Bitty leans on Jack heavily as he sips what’s left in his glass and listens and laughs to the tale that his father weaves of his first and only Samwell University Frat Party._ _

__“So, everything was going relatively okay until a young man with the most amazing moustache-.”_ _

__“Shitty,” Bitty says with a broad smile._ _

__Bob raises his glass. “Shitty, indeed. He grabs my arm and shoves a red plastic cup into my hand filled with….something-.”_ _

__“Tub juice.”_ _

__“And I’ve never been the same since.”_ _

__He doesn’t tell him how Jack found the two of them sitting together on the front porch of The Haus, elbows on knees with a serious expression on both their faces as they talked. Later that night on the way back to their dorm Jack asked Shitty if he knew what happened to him- what really happened to him, not what was printed in the tabloids or what the rumors that always seemed to swirl around him were saying._ _

__Shitty nodded and jammed his hands in his coat pockets. “Yeah. You’ve been through some real shit, man.”_ _

__“Yeah. I guess.”_ _

__“Glad you’re here now, brother.”_ _

__“Yeah. Me too.”_ _

__Shitty had elbowed him then flung an arm around him to pull him into a headlock and messed up his hair and called him _fucking beautiful_ before he let him go and said, “Your dad is fucking awesome.”_ _

__At the time, Jack had his fair share of unresolved issues with his father, but he couldn’t even argue the point with Shitty._ _

__He still can’t, looking at the light in his father’s eyes as he watches Bitty snuggle tighter against his side._ _

__He might not have followed the path his father carefully cut out for him but he still ended up here. He still ended up happy, and it’s obvious to Jack that that means more to his father than any first round draft pick could._ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__Jack walks into his bedroom after taking a shower and finds Bitty lying on the bed, above the covers in black boxers and a long sleeved Falconers t-shirt. His phone is on the nightstand and he’s staring up at the ceiling, fingers tented over his chest and flexing back and forth._ _

__“Is everything okay? Bittle…..Bits?”_ _

__He only reacts when Jack gets a knee on the bed and the mattress dips down._ _

__“Oh, Jack.” One of his hands flattens to his chest like he’s been startled. “Honey, sorry, what?”_ _

__“I asked if everything was okay. You’re quiet.”_ _

__“I’m just thinking.” He pauses to watch Jack pull down the covers on his side. Bittle scooches up so he can slide beneath them._ _

__Jack props himself up on one elbow and holds one of Bittle’s hands with the other._ _

__“What are you thinking about?”_ _

__“I just can’t believe I’m here.”_ _

__“In Bad Bob’s house?”  
“No,” Bitty says sharply. He traces the outline of Jack’s hand with his fingers. “You gotta understand I never even thought I would have a boyfriend, never mind be lying with him in his bed in his parents house while they knew who I was and seemed to like me. They like me, don’t they?”_ _

__“Of course they like you, everyone likes you.”_ _

__Bittle snorts._ _

__“Who doesn’t like you,” Jack asks and Bitty swats at his chest._ _

__“No one that matters. Your parents really like me, though?”_ _

__Jack nods and Bitty scrunches up his nose._ _

__“They call me Eric?”_ _

__“Do you not like that? I’m sure they’d be happy to call you anything you’d want to be called. Bitty, Bits...” He gives him a wicked smile then drops down to whisper in his ear. “Dicky.”_ _

__Bittle laughs, the scrape of just barely there stubble from Jack’s cheeks tickling the soft skin of his neck._ _

__“Good lord,” he says as he pulls Jack’s hand over his face. “Everyone calls me something different.”_ _

__“What do you want me to call you?” he asks as he swings a leg over Bittle's thighs and drops a kiss to the side of his neck. “Sweetheart...” Another kiss. “Honey...” Kiss. “Baby?”_ _

__Bittle giggles at his terrible southern accent._ _

__He pulls back and looks him in the eyes. Bittle is smiling up at him._ _

__“Mon ange. Mon coeur.”_ _

__He ducks down and kisses him, feather soft against his lips. Bittle leans up to chase him when he pulls away._ _

__“Le grand amour.”_ _

__“That last one.”_ _

__“Do you even know what it means?”_ _

__“I know it has _amour_ in it. I know what that means.” He wraps his arms around Jack’s shoulders. “Honey, you can call me any sweet thing you want to call me as long as you mean it.” _ _

__Jack says it again before he kisses him._ _

__

__******_ _

__

__He wakes up alone and groans into the pillow before he hears Bittle’s laughter coming from down the hall._ _

__Bitty is in the kitchen pulling a coffee cake out of the oven. Alicia is sitting on a barstool at the island still dressed in her matching pajamas and sipping coffee from a cream colored mug._ _

__“So you grew these,” she asks, picking at the leftover sprigs of thyme on the counter._ _

__“Yup,” Bitty pops as he eases the pan onto the cooling rack. “Well, actually, Jack did. I went down to visit him and he surprised me with a whole herb garden in this little window box. He went all out, painted the thing himself. I wish you could see it- oh! I have a picture of it.” He slides off the oven mit and unlocks his phone then leans over to show Alicia. She makes a gentle, little, cooing sound._ _

__“I have no idea he had such a green thumb.”_ _

__“He’s really good at it. He even bought one of those watering bulbs so they won’t die while he’s on a roadie.”_ _

__Jack never told him but the reason he had to buy that was because the plants did die while he was on a roadie. In his single minded focus he forgot all about them and came home a week later to brown, dried up, plants. He dropped his bag right inside the door, said oh fuck to an empty apartment and hopped online to figure out how to revive them. A few hours later Jack had sprung for next day shipping for the watering globes and made a plan to run out first thing in the morning to buy new herbs._ _

__It’s the only secret he’s keeping from Bittle and he doesn’t feel guilty about it._ _

__“Morning honey,” Bittle says when he spots Jack in the doorway. There’s no flush on his cheeks from the pet name slipping out of his mouth even though his mother is smiling brightly at them. It figures the kitchen would be the key to finally calming him down._ _

__“You’re up early.” Jack squeezes his hip on his way to the coffee maker._ _

__“I had to get this in the oven.”_ _

__“Ah, of course.”_ _

__“Eric was just telling me about your garden. All those years I spent working on ours and you never helped me once. I see how it is,” she teases and Bittle beams up at him._ _

__Jack’s grabbing plates from the cabinet when his father comes in the front door._ _

__He’s wearing boxers with hockey sticks on them and a ratty old t-shirt. It’s all covered by an even rattier looking blue robe that Jack remembers him wearing when he was just a kid._ _

__It would be embarrassing if Jack and Bitty didn’t live in The Haus where they witnessed more second hand embarrassment than any single human should just from Shitty alone._ _

__He slides a box across the table towards Bittle and pouts when he’s told that the cake is too hot and he needs to wait a few minutes._ _

__“I didn’t think it would get here on time but it’s here,” Bob says as he pushes even close to Bittle. “That’s for you.”_ _

__“For me? I don’t….I don’t.”_ _

__“Go ahead, open it.” Bob bounces on his toes like a little kid and Jack takes advantage of the distraction to sink a knife into the cake. Steam billows up and the smell of lemon and thyme gets stronger._ _

__He cuts himself a good sized piece and takes a bite (then tries to pretend like he didn’t just burn his mouth) and watches as Bittle gingerly slides his fingers underneath the tape on the box._ _

__His mouth forms a perfect O when he pulls out the new hockey skates._ _

__“Do you like them? They’re your size, aren’t they?”_ _

__Bittle nods._ _

__“Jack mentioned that you might want to try out your rink but wasn’t sure we had any skates that would fit you. It’s always better to have your own.”_ _

__“I…..yeah.”_ _

__Jack bumps his knee into Bittle’s hip, eyebrows knitting together to silently ask him what’s wrong._ _

__Bittle just frowns at the hunk of cake on Jack’s plate._ _

__“Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”_ _

__“You don’t need to say a thing,” Alicia says. “We’re just happy to have you here. Now, we should get dressed if you boys want to get a jump on the day. Bob?”_ _

__“Cake first.”_ _

__“The cake is too hot to eat.”_ _

__“Jack is eating it.”_ _

__“Jack is regretting it. Look at him. Jack, is the inside of your mouth okay or is it on fire?”_ _

__Jack shrugs, too concerned with watching the curious look on Bitty’s face than providing an actual answer._ _

__“See, he’s fine. I’ll be right there.”_ _

__“I’ll be back for the cake when it’s cooled down, Eric, it smells great.”_ _

__“Jack,” Bitty leans in and whispers as Bob busies himself with getting a plate and pouring another cup of coffee. “These are really nice.”_ _

__Jack takes another bite. “Mmmhmm.” He wouldn’t expect anything less from his parents. A few years ago they got Lardo a set of really nice paints imported from France. She cried._ _

__“These are expensive. These are what the pros wear. This is what you wear. I can’t accept these. I can’t afford these.”_ _

__Jack swallows the cake and clears his throat. “What does that have to do with anything? They’re a gift. They’re yours. Already paid for.”_ _

__“Well, you have to at least let me pay to get them shipped home. They’re not going to fit in my bag.”_ _

__“Why would you bring them home?” Bob asks. He rounds the front of the island with two plates in his hands and Bittle pales when he realizes their conversation wasn’t so secret. “You can keep them here. That way you’ll have them for next time.”_ _

__“For next time,” Bittle repeats, soft enough that Jack can barely hear him and he’s seated at his left hip._ _

__“Better get changed so you can break them in, Eric.”_ _

__Bittle watches him go down the hall. He rests the skates carefully on the counter like they’ll break. “I’ll never believe that this is my life.”_ _

__Jack pulls him into the space between his thighs and rests his forehead on his shoulder. He knows how he feels._ _

__

__******_ _

__

__He laces his skates up slowly._ _

__Bittle and his mother are already out on the ice. His mom still looks a little shaky even after years of practice. Bittle looks as sure as ever, skating loops around her to make her laugh._ _

__“C’mon, Jack,” his father says when he skates close enough. “Get the lead out.”_ _

__Jack nods but doesn't move any faster._ _

__“Son.”_ _

__And Jack knows that tone. He knows what’s going to come after._ _

__“Is everything okay?”_ _

__Jack can hear every therapist he’s ever been to screaming in his head telling him to _use your words, Jack. I know it might be hard but it’s worth it._ _ _

__He doesn’t know how._ _

__He doesn’t know what’s wrong._ _

__It’s not like last time, he knows that. This is not panic. This is not anxiety. Not like how it used to be. There’s no undercurrent of disappointment or sadness that’s running through him._ _

__He has both feet on the ground and both arms around Bittle and he is happy but there is something else. Something he can’t put a name to. He knows what it isn’t but he doesn't know what it is and sometimes he can’t sleep at night because of it._ _

__“I’ve never been in love before,” he says._ _

__His father sits down next to him._ _

__“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to screw it up.”_ _

__“Well, when I met your mother...”_ _

__Jack groans. He does not need to hear this story again. There’s a TV movie about it. It’s not good. He’s watched it. Sophomore year someone streamed a copy and they all piled onto that green couch to watch it. Shitty wouldn’t let him leave until the very end. _“You have to find out how it ends, brah.” “I know how it ends.” “Shhh.”_ _ _

__“Alright, alright.”_ _

__“I just want so much now and it’s not….that’s not new, but what I want now is so different from what I wanted before. I can’t control it. It’s not up to me anymore.”_ _

__Before he wanted hockey. He wanted to get drafted. He wanted to play and win and make his father proud. Those were all things he had to do on his own._ _

__Now, the bulk of what he wants is directly tied to another human being. The one that’s leaning against the far wall of the rink, flexing his ankle lazily because breaking in new skates can be a pain._ _

__“What do you want?” Bob asks. “Specifically.”_ _

__Jack takes a deep breath._ _

__He wants to talk to Shitty about this. He wants to tell Shitty straight up that this is what is happening. He knows he already has some idea but he wants to be honest about it. He wants to go to Georgia and not have to sneak around Bittle’s parents house. He wants to know Bittle’s father will be accepting. He wants to talk to Bittle everyday. He wants to see him everyday. He wants to touch him everyday. He just wants to be near him._ _

__Any of those would have been appropriate to say but Jack goes 110% and says, “I want to marry him,” instead._ _

__“Oh.” Bob looks surprised and is slow to recover. “Okay. I might suggest waiting until he’s graduated, but-”_ _

__“No, no, I know. I can’t do that right now. I mean, forget about me, he’s not even out to his parents yet. Sometimes I think Suzanne knows but his dad….sometimes I hear him ask about girls and Bittle just….” He hates the look on Bittle’s face. He waits just out of view until he ends the Skype call then wraps his arms around him and presses kiss after kiss to his hair. “Now isn’t the right time but I want it. I want him. I just want him.”_ _

__“Jack,” Bittle calls from across the rink and waves a hand at him. “C’mon.”_ _

__“Kiddo, I think you already have him.” His father skates off to hold his mother’s hand._ _

__At 15 Jack looked across the ice and thought, this is my whole life._ _

__At 26 he looks across it again, just in time to see Bittle jump, spin, and land. His mother claps and his father laughs and Bittle looks towards him with a big smile and he thinks the same thing. _This is my whole life._ _ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__The Aces lose._ _

__Hard._ _

__They lose in Boston. Jack didn’t see it, he had a late practice but when he checks his phone on the way to the car it’s flooded with texts from the group chat._ _

___“Dude, this is fucking harsh.”_ _ _

___“I don’t know if I can watch this anymore.”_ _ _

___“Did they forget they were supposed to play hockey tonight????”_ _ _

___“DID THEY FORGET HOW TO PLAY HOCKEY????”_ _ _

___“Tragic.”_ Bitty texts and Jack shakes his head. He can practically hear the sarcasm in his text. _ _

___“Kent is looking rough tonight.”_ _ _

___"Did you see that hit?”_ _ _

___“Is he okay?”_ Chowder texts._ _

__Bitty texts _“He’s fine. Got right up.”__ _

__“Jack, you have to watch this when you get a chance. Fucking insane.”_ _

__Jack is going to watch it. He has it recorded on his DVR right now but won’t watch it without Bittle. Watching Bittle watch the Aces is more fun than watching it alone._ _

__Bittle makes snarky remarks from behind his beer bottle and Jack will remind him that he doesn’t have to hate him._ _

__Bittle pats his knee and says “I know that, honey.” _And yet here I am,_ is left unsaid. _ _

__They won’t be together for another week and a half. Jack has a three away games and Bittle has a lot of assignments due and Jack wants school to be a priority and even though it kills Bittle to admit it, he’s right._ _

__They’re living on texts, phone calls, and Skype conversations. It’s something but it’s not enough. Jack hates coming home to an empty apartment. The silence isn’t a comfort anymore._ _

__It’s too late when he gets home to call him. He hopes he’s in bed by now but he knows he’s probably up cramming for a test or slicing apples for a pie in the kitchen._ _

__The desire to call him, just to hear his voice for ten minutes, is strong but Jack holds it together. That ten minute conversation would stretch into an hour or two and Bitty would say I love you around a yawn and be exhausted for his classes tomorrow._ _

__So he takes a quick shower and changes into sweatpants then reheats some leftover chicken._ _

__He’s settling down to watch some tape, he can get in a half an hours worth before he has to go to bed when there’s a knock on the door._ _

__He lets his head fall to the back of the couch and listens to the steady steam of knocks. They’re not going away and if he lets it go on any longer he’s going to hear about it from a neighbor._ _

__He pads to the door in his bare feet and rubs at his eyes. There’s a headache stirring right behind his eyes._ _

__He opens the door with a sigh and his breath gets caught in his throat when he sees who it is._ _

__Kent has his hand halfway to the door and drops in favor of sticking both hands in the pockets of his coat._ _

__“Hey, Jack.”_ _

__“What are you going here?”_ _

__“Just checking in on ya.” He’s all smooth smiles and relaxed posture against the side of the door. He looks over Jack’s shoulder. “Checking out the new place. It's nice. Your mom decorate?”_ _

__“A little.”_ _

__“Mmm. You gonna invite me in or?”_ _

__Jack doesn't move from the door._ _

__“Alright. You want to go out? Help me lick my wounds from that loss. You see it?”_ _

__“I had practice.”_ _

__“But you know how it went?”_ _

__Jack nods. “Think everyone knows how it went.”_ _

__“Yeah, well, can't win ‘em all. Even though you and I both know you and I both always want to. So what'll it be? Am I coming in or are we going out?”_ _

__“I'm seeing someone.”_ _

__“Okay.” Kent slides up the doorframe. “And she would have a problem with two old friends going out for a bit?”_ _

__“He,” Jack says and watches Kent’s eyebrows disappear beneath his cap. “And he wouldn't. If that was what this is.” He steps away from the door and let's him in. He's not having this discussion half in a hallway even if no one is around._ _

__Kent steps in and rubs his hand across the back of his neck. His watch catches the light. _“He._ Holy shit. Is it serious?”_ _

__“You know me,” Jack says and ignores the way Kent says oh yeah under his breath in favor of forging on. “Everything I do is serious.”_ _

__“Hold up. Did you just chirp yourself? How is that even poss-.”_ _

__“I think about marrying him.” Jack cuts him off. He doesn't mean for the words to hurt, to cut like a knife, to make Kenny’s face fall but...collateral damage he supposes. “Not right now but someday. Soon, maybe. I'd like that.”_ _

__“It's gonna be pretty hard to keep the wedding a secret. You gonna wear a ring?” It's a joke but Jack would never joke about this._ _

__“It won't be this way forever. It's different now.” _The team, the country. I'm different._ “I've been thinking about coming out.”_ _

__“You'd do that for him?”_ _

__“I'd do anything for him.”_ _

__“Well, shit. Look at you all….” He trails off and looks away from his face. He looks at the paintings on the wall and the couch. There's a Samwell sweatshirt hanging over the arm but he can't see how it's too small to be Jacks. “Who is it?”_ _

__Jack stares right at him and doesn't say anything. He won't. Bitty will he the one thing of Jack’s that Kent has never touched._ _

__“I guess this is really it for us, huh?”_ _

__The pain behind his eyes is now a full blown ache. “It’s been it. We were never….it was never going to be like this between us….the way it is with him, it’s different.” _It’s healthier. It’s better. I’m happier._ “Him and I-”_ _

__“Okay,” Kent holds up a hand. “I don’t need the details.” He’s quiet for a moment. “We were good though, weren't we?”_ _

__Jack thinks, no, we were just young, but nods his head. He let's Kenny have this._ _

__It seems to be enough. Kent gives him a tight smile and adjusts his Aces cap. “I’ll see you around, Zimms. We get you in a couple of months. Hope you’re ready for it.”_ _

__“Could say that same to you.”_ _

__Kent winks at him before he closes the door behind him._ _

__Bitty picks up on the third ring._ _

__“Hey sweetheart. You're on speaker because my hands are covered in dough but it's okay because everyone else is asleep and before you start you should know I took a really long nap today and I got most of my work done so now I'm making a strawberry pie to celebrate. How was your day? How was practice? Did you read our texts? Oh lord, Jack, that game. I can't wait to watch it with you. Honey?”_ _

__“Umm.”_ _

__“Jack? Okay, hold on.”_ _

__There's shuffling and then Bitty's voice sounds closer, likes he's picked the phone up._ _

__“Did something happen at practice? Should we not text you like that? Do you not want to hear about the game at all?”_ _

__“No, that's fine. I like when you guys text me it's just….I got home and Kent showed up.”_ _

__The next three seconds of silence are the longest of Jack's life._ _

__“Parson? Why?”_ _

__“I don't know. He was in Boston and I think he thought...I don't know what he thought but he just showed up.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“I just had to tell you. I had to talk to you.”_ _

__“Okay.” Bitty's voice sounds very small and quiet._ _

__“Nothing happened,” Jack's voice bursts from his chest. “Shit, I should have started with that. Nothing would ever, with anyone. I would never. I’d never do that. I promise.”_ _

__“Honey, it’s okay. I know you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t either.”_ _

__“I know.”_ _

__“Jack, are you okay? Do you want me to come to you? I could figure out a way. I think the trains have stopped running but-”_ _

__“No, Bits, it’s okay. I don’t know what he was expecting but I told him I was seeing someone. A guy. I didn’t tell him it was you. He seemed um….”_ _

__“Hey,” Bittle says, soft and gentle like he's talking him down from a ledge. Maybe he is. “Tell me something good. Something about what you did today.”_ _

__Jack takes a deep breath and closes his eyes and tells Bitty about the blueberry turnover he ate this morning._ _

__“Was it better than mine?”_ _

__Jack answers with a long, drawn out, “Weeeell...” then smiles when Bitty clucks his tongue and says, _“You're awful.”_ _ _

__Bittle tells him about the pie he’s making. _“Cherry but I’m thinking about making lemon meringue too. No it won’t be too late. I took a nap, remember?” And about how he thinks he did on the history test he had today. “I remembered all about The Battle of The Bulge because of that documentary you made us watch a few weeks ago.”_ _ _

__Jack plucks a few sprigs of lavender as he listens to him talk. The oils seep out onto his skin and he takes a deep breath._ _

__Bitty made a body scrub out of it that’s currently sitting on the shelf of his shower right now._ _

__Jack was pressing a kiss to the inside of Bitty’s thigh, Bitty’s hand was in his hair and between kisses Jack said, “Your skin is really soft. And you smell really good.”_ _

__Bitty gasped and rolled his hips and said, “I made scrub with some of our lavender and coconut oil. It’s supposed to relax you.”_ _

__Jack rested his head against his thigh and hummed. “I could fall asleep right now.”_ _

__Bitty laughed and pulled him up his body. “Don’t you dare.”_ _

__Right now he’d rather be pressing his face to Bitty’s skin but this is a close second. Just hearing his voice is helping._ _

__Bittle goes real quiet for a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay?”_ _

__“I just love you.”_ _

__“I love you too. And I wish I could have been there.”_ _

__Jack laughs, loud and honest. His desire to see Bitty and Kent face off is just as strong as his hope to never have to see it._ _

__But._ _

__“I wish you were here too. Always.”_ _

__

__*******_ _

__

__There’s an unpainted window box waiting for Bittle when he gets to Providence. Jack has the paints lined up on the kitchen table and there’s newspaper already spread out._ _

__“If you want to paint it, you can. If you don’t, don’t worry about it.”_ _

__Bitty puts a hand on Jack’s chest and said “I already know what I’m going to paint.”_ _

__He paints the basecoat blue, and Jack smirks to himself as he waters the mint, sage, and rosemary plants that’ll be going into it. He called it._ _

__Jack sits across from him and watches with his chin cradled in his palm as Bitty very carefully paints a brown, fluffy bunny hopping through a carrot patch on the front of it. On the back he writes lyrics to a Beyonce song that Jack recognizes as the one that was pouring from his headphones the first time they kissed._ _

__He finishes the word grace then glances up at Jack. Jack slides his foot against his beneath the table and watches the color rise to his cheeks._ _

__“You know,” Bittle says as he taps the paint brush against the side of the box. He still has to figure out what to do with the ends. “Maybe after this we should upgrade. Do you think we could grow strawberries out there? How difficult would it be to get a raspberry bush?”_ _

__“I could look it up.”_ _

__“An apple tree!” Bitty exclaims. “Do lemon trees grow up here? What about peaches?”_ _

__“Peaches, yes. Lemon, I’m not sure. I don’t think it’s going to be possible to get a tree out there.” The balcony is a 4x10 rectangle._ _

__Bittle looks out the balcony door and slowly nods. “I know, you’re right. Maybe I could get one to plant at the Haus.”_ _

__He starts to paints a big strawberry on one of the sides, humming to himself as he does and Jack centers himself._ _

__“Maybe someday.” He clears his throat as Bitty looks up at him waiting for further explanation. “Maybe someday we can have a tree. Whatever kind you want.”_ _

__“Where would we put that?”_ _

__“A yard.” Jack shrugs. “We might need more space someday. I always thought I’d eventually move into a house and if you wanted to….you know, come with me. I’d like that.”_ _

__Bitty bites his lip to control his smile but it doesn’t work. “Someday?”_ _

__“Someday. In a few years. Maybe sooner. I all depends.”_ _

__“On what?”_ _

__“On you.” Jack says, honest and nervous and stomach flipping over the way Bitty’s eyes have started to shine. If Bitty gave him the okay right now he’d have a ring on his finger and a real estate agent on the phone in five minutes._ _

__Bittle lays his hand across the table and Jack covers it with his own._ _

__“I think that sounds great, Jack.” Their fingers curl together. “I can’t wait.”_ _


End file.
